10 Secrets of Successful Families

Introduction: What is the criteria for a great family?

    Decay of Families (in the U.S.)

        1. Values decaying

        2. Crime/Delinquency

        3. Lack of parental concern

Question: What are the elements that contribute to successful family relationships?

Question: What formula will bring joy and happiness to our individual families?

Discussion of the LDS (Latter-Day Saint) philosophy on families:

    1. The basic (and most important) unit in the church

    2. No other success can compensate for failure in the home. President David O. McKay

    3. Homes are the center of our church activity.

The Ten Principles:

1. PRAY TOGETHER (Provides spiritual strength)

    1. Pray together as a family

    2. Thank Heavenly Father for His blessings to you family

    3. Ask for guidance/assistance on family concerns

    4. Pray for your children in family prayers

    5. Pray as parents for wisdom in rearing the children

2. BUILD A STRONG RELATIONSHIP AS HUSBAND AND WIFE (This is the glue that holds the family together)

    1. Power of the pyramid (Make Christ the center)

             Lord

 

         Husband Wife

    2. Be willing to go the extra mile

    3. Walk in his/her moccasins

    4. Say "I love you" frequently

    5. Show "I love you" always

    6. Hold your tongue; a word spoken stands forever

3. CULTIVATE MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR CHILDREN/FAMILY MEMBERS.

    1. Learn your children's favorites. (show a genuine interest).

    2. Participate with them in their activities. (whatever it is)

    3. Be slow to criticize and quick to praise

        Example: Critical dad of teen son's car washing

        Son: "C'mon dad lighten up, I've never been a
        teenager before

        Dad: You know son, now that I think about it, I've never been a parent before.

        Moral: Everyone take it easy and don't be overly critical

        Story: Mother who at her own daughter's bridal 

        shower was unable to guess her daughter's favorite
        things.

4. ATTEND TO THE DUAL NATURE OF FAMILY MEMBERS (PHYSICAL/SPIRITUAL)

    1. Provide Physical Necessities

        1. Food

        2. Shelter

        3. Clothing etc...

    2. Provide Spiritual Necessities

        1. Sense of self

        2. Spiritual heritage

        3. Spiritual family (the family of God)

5. SEARCH OUT YOUR ROOTS/GENEALOGY

    1. Find where your family name came from

        1. Its meaning

        2. Your nationality

        3. Your heritage

        4. Learn the accomplishments/activities of your ancestors

    2. Compile a family history

        1. Personal: Journal or tell a story

        2. Family: scrapbook or family generated

6. TEACH YOUR FAMILY BY PRECEPT AND EXAMPLE

    1. Learning begins young

    2. "What you do thunders so loudly in my ears, I can't hear
    what you say."

    3. Practice what you preach

    4. The divine attribute of Free Agency must be allowed:

        1. Joseph Smith: "Teach them correct principles, then let them govern             themselves".

        2. God will force no man to heaven

    3. Early church leaders dream of his grandfather who asked him, "What have you done with my name?" we too, have names to carry on.

7. GIVE FAMILY LIFE ITS RIGHTFUL PLACE AT THE PINNACLE OF YOUR LIFE.

1. Nurture the lasting /meaningful relationships in your life: those that you create     with your family.
   
2. Example of the Navy man who spent 18 1/2 yrs. of the first 20 yrs. of marriage away from his family. He doesn't know his children! (nor his wife for that matter)
   
3. Cherish each moment as an island in time; there is only one today. The years fly by.
   

8. DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

    1. Most of marriage's rough spots are encountered over small     things.
    2. Remember Agency! The only person that can change a     person, is that person     themself!
    3. Be Unselfish. All problems (nearly all) stem from one or both partners being selfish.
    4. Math of Marriage: 110%+110%=100%

9. CHERISH THE WORTH AND IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A FAMILY: IT IS GOD'S TUTORING SYSTEM.
    1. Things you find in a family:
        Your best friends
        Funny times
        Sad/happy times
        Challenges/blessings
    Article of Faith #13: We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, and in doing good to all men. Indeed, we may say     that we follow the admonition of Paul, we believe all things, we     hope all things, we have endured many things and hope to be     able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

10. SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER DOING A FAMILY ACTIVITY.
    1. Set time aside each week specifically for family time.
        "Family Home Evening"
        1. Pray together
        2. Sing together/read together
        3. Teach one another
        4. Encourage one another
        5. Refreshments! (of course)

    2. Cherish each moment as an island